i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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