Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!