after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
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Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.