You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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