I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
