If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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