Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
