Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
