I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize