I feel great
I just peed on a car
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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