We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
