like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize