Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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