I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
God, I missed his penis.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize