I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
