i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
