Im at strip club and am horny
Small penises have feelings too.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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