Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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