yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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