Kiss
Puke
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
