remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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