Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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