Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
