so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
