i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
