she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
