I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
