he shaved USA in his pubs
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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