Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
