don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
