He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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