Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows