Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

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  (248): I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now http://tfl.nu/naz7
  Replies (3) Good night (3097) Bad night (743)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.

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  (905): You had a beer at 10:30 this morning? (1-905): Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol. http://tfl.nu/apvz
  Replies (30) Good night (3862) Bad night (646)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games

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  (613): I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games http://tfl.nu/74pd
  Replies (18) Good night (4199) Bad night (1265)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.

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  (260): It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs. http://tfl.nu/yz88
  Replies (14) Good night (1176) Bad night (4557)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg

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  (781): she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg http://tfl.nu/c3oo
  Replies (17) Good night (5814) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.

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  (240): Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me. http://tfl.nu/zpby
  Replies (6) Good night (2870) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today

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  (321): Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today http://tfl.nu/s99h
  Replies (2) Good night (2224) Bad night (941)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.

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  (813): I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly. http://tfl.nu/szur
  Replies (16) Good night (821) Bad night (1957)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

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  (256): I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?! http://tfl.nu/d9v0
  Replies (61) Good night (1351) Bad night (2333)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE

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  (206): I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE http://tfl.nu/qqx3
  Replies (12) Good night (2678) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.

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  (303): And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked. http://tfl.nu/770z
  Replies (4) Good night (1805) Bad night (808)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.

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  (515): If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face. http://tfl.nu/ob45
  Replies (6) Good night (854) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.

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  (909): Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/zdw2
  Replies (7) Good night (448) Bad night (1940)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone

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  (608): It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone http://tfl.nu/08pc
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable

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  (334): Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable http://tfl.nu/erwp
  Replies (0) Good night (385) Bad night (266)

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