they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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