who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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