When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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