Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize