I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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