i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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