I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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