I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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