It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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