guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
