i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
