Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
