Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
