I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
