Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
