would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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