just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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