I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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