Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
