Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
