saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
