I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
