i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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