fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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