i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
