i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
