Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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