You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
