Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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