yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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