you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize