i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
