I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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