I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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