Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
