It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
