All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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