her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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