i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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