Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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